I wanted to thank you for everything. I haven't thanked you properly in a long time.
Well sure, I always say "thank you" after getting your advice, guidance, and the aid you've given to me whenever I need it. But I haven't really given you a "proper" thank-you in god knows how long. I think it's high time I take some time out of my schedule to let you know what I need to say.
I remember when we met, back in '02... or was it '03? God, I should *really* work on remembering my dates! Anyway, I was working on a massive game project ("The Gathering Project", of course) with some others. Things had gotten quiet, and not a lot was going on. Then all of a sudden you came along.
I was a bit interested in what you had to say at first. But after I'd seen the stuff you'd worked on - the games, the Web site, and all the other awesome stuff in your portfolio - my interest turned into inspiration. The Gathering Project, thanks to you, was revived in my mind as an ideal - and in turn, as a project.
Of course, The Gathering Project was never meant to be. The developers had gotten tired of chasing each other's tails, and we ultimately decided to dissolve the team. I've lost contact with most of the other devs since then. Of course, you and I still talk pretty much on a daily basis.
I've always been a human minefield - say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and you lose a leg and the hearing in one ear. Of course, in recent years, that facet of my personality has gotten weaker. I tend to be more "stable" most of the time, although I still have my moments.
Yesterday, I was working on a project, and dabbling into regular expressions. I had been trying to get my code working for a while, and was banging my head against the wall trying to figure it out. I was irate, and when you appeared on my IM list, I basically jumped on you for advice.
I was so worn thin at that point that I was impatient with you when you didn't have an immediate answer. I got so fed up that I decided to walk away for a few minutes to clear my head, and didn't even tell you I was leaving. When I got back, you were gone, but after the help you'd given me, I finally was able to squash the bugs in my code.
Of course, that got me thinking - I wouldn't be having all this fun in the first place if not for you. I do get upset sometimes when things don't work out when I think they should and can't figure out why, but on the other hand, I'm having a satisfying experience with what I'm doing. I have big plans. There's so much I want to do, and I finally feel as though I'm getting to where I can do it.
And what did I do? I left without saying a word. That's gratitude for you! I'm sorry I did that, Kroc. I just want you to know that you've done a lot for me over the years, and I really am getting *somewhere* in my life due in part to your (vast amount of) help. When we weren't battling bugs, and were just lounging around chatting about this and that, you were still enriching my life. And, with things the way they are in my head, that's saying a lot.
So, yeah. You have been a really, really good friend to me. It's a shame not that many people know about what kind of friend you can be. I wanted to write you an open letter, because I want you to know that I'm proud enough to have you as a friend to post it in public.
When some people are in love, they say they want the world to know. I'm not saying I want to make love to you or anything ('cause that would *really* be creepy :P ), but I was just thinking that if I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate all you've done, why keep it a secret? You have helped me so many times it's not funny. I figure I owe you, but I know you'll just say "no, you don't owe me anything" and some British follow-up like "pip-pip" or some other nonsense. ;)
But I do feel as though I owe you an apology for all the crap I put you through. But more than that, I want to thank you for still being there after all the crap I put you through. It can't be easy for you when I go on one of my depressed self-destructo mania trips. All I can say is I'm lucky that you have thick skin, and that we're still friends.
Thank you, Kroc. I hope that our friendship will last until God farts and ends the world.
Clint V Franklin aka theraje
P.S.: I still think tea is coffee for girls. So, nyeh. :P